My second MRI took place a few days ago and I'm waiting for the results. The post-procedure consultation with the neuro-oncologist in Grand Rapids is scheduled for early next week.
SIZE
I will be ok with the results no matter what they are. The possibilities regarding the size and quantity of the spots in my brain (I currently have two, one in each side of my thalamus with the left spot extending into the midbrain) are:
1. The spots may have become larger or multiplied. This is ok. Not ideal, but ok. My macrobiotic counselor told me back in April that it can take four months to stop the progression of a condition once you begin macrobiotics. So this MRI being performed at three months is a bit early and means I may not see the results from my efforts until the next scheduled MRI in November.
2. The spots may have stayed the same. This could mean they are tumors or scar tissue.
3. The spots may be smaller or might be gone completely.
VASCULAR ACTIVITY
The extra tests that were performed this time may reveal if there is vascular activity. If there is it means they are tumors. If no vascular activity is detected it may mean they are still tumors with undetectable vascular activity or they are scar tissue.
A RIDE
Because I didn't expect there to be any side effects after the test in April I stopped by the grocery store on the way home. Next thing I knew I was feeling queasy and nauseous. As it turns out this isn't typical. Usually people feel sick the moment the contrast dye is injected into the the catheter they place in your arm. Mine appeared to be a delayed reaction. I'd driven myself and regretted that as it was almost a 45 minute drive home but because no sedation is required they told me I didn't need anyone to drive me.
This time my friend Katherine offered to drive me even though it meant she had to leave her house at 5:30 AM to get to my house, then get us to Grand Rapids by 7:30 AM. I have amazing friends <3 Thank you again Katherine.
THE DRIVE THERE
I had gone to bed with a great plan of making a light breakfast before I left but woke up to my stomach in painful knots and I couldn't eat a thing.
Once on the road Katherine had more questions about macrobiotics than we had miles to drive so we chatted the entire ride there and even while we were waiting once we arrived at the hospital. It completely distracted me and my stomach stopped hurting.
When the nurse came for me I asked if Katherine could come back with me. There was only one chair in the room where they do your info intake and you change but I didn't care. I was thinking she was like the horse that goes to the gate with a race horse, it's buddy that help keeps it calm. She did such a fantastic job of calming me down that I secretly in my head decided she is my ESA (Emotional Support Animal). The good news is if I ever need to I can take her on a plane with me. Unlike the emotional support peacock I read about in the news that was banned from an airline flight a few months ago. LOL
MISO SOUP
Because of the extra tests I was given even more contrast dye than I'd received in April. Knowing it might make me sick again I decided to do something about it. This time was different. After the testing was completed I tried something new. Years ago I'd read about a hospital in Nagasaki Japan where the people in it didn't experience acute radiation poisoning after the atom bomb was dropped. Studies have shown that miso soup with wakame seaweed has an amazing ability to protect us from the effects of radiation. So, on that theory, I made a batch of miso soup with wakame and shiitake mushrooms, the same kind I have each morning, put it in an insulated coffee travel cup and brought it with me. As soon as I was back in the dressing room when the testing was over I began sipping it and sipped it the entire drive home. No side effects this time.
THE DRIVE HOME
The trip home was just as uplifting as the drive there. This time we discussed the HEAL documentary. I was telling Katherine how I'd listened to the HEAL Summit online and ended up purchasing a copy of it. How the movie was a combination of the value of traditional western medicine and a more integrative approach meaning how the mind, body, and spirit all play major roles in determining our health and outcomes from illnesses and injuries. It isn't always just bad luck, genetics, or fate.
We talked in depth about how it was during the summit that I made the startling realization that I have always viewed the world through the lens of quantum physics. Say what? I know. I was shocked. And confused. And amazed. It would be hilariously ironic except for the fact that this perspective is what I would attribute a lot of my depression to over the past several decades because I didn't understanding what I was experiencing.
For as long as I can remember I have always felt a connection to all living things. Plants, animals, the earth, and people. What I learned in the summit is that all living things are connected by energy. For as long as I can recall I've used the term "connected by fine cosmic threads" even though I know nothing about the cosmos. In the movie, author Gregg Braden used the word "entanglement" to describe the same connection. I have always had an inexplicable connection to people and animals that while unfocused, has nonetheless always been who (and how) I am.
So because I have always felt this connection, it made me feel incredibly lonely and isolated because I hadn't ever known anyone else, or wasn't aware that I had, who viewed the world in the same way that I did. I grew up mostly being told I was oversensitive. Why did I seem to hurt more deeply on an emotional level? Why do I worry about others (both people I know and people I don't know) so much? Why do I worry about nature so much? It's because I have always innately believed they are a part of me and I am a part of them. That we are connected.
As Katherine drove I looked out the window of her car and suddenly saw a flock of sandhill cranes take flight from a field just out my window. There were 11. It happened so fast I had to turn around to count them. I have never seen a flock of sandhill cranes in flight let along take flight just as I am beside them. I was so excited. I exclaimed "They're a sign!" She asked "Of what?" I replied "I don't know!" LOL
She asked what does the number 11 represent in numerology? I had no idea. I Googled when I got home and found several definitions. All said that there are only three master numbers and 11 is one of them. I have no doubt this is what the cranes symbolized. It is exactly what we were discussing on pretty much the entire drive home:
"The 11 symbolizes the potential to push the limitations of the human experience into the stratosphere of the highest spiritual perception; the link between the mortal and the immortal; between man and spirit; between darkness and light; ignorance and enlightenment. This is the ultimate symbolic power of the 11." (From Numerology.com)
Since visiting and moving to Michigan this is the third times cranes, or a single crane, in flight have given me a sign that I am on the right path. And I have to say that seeing them take wing or soaring in flight is so much better and more beautiful than "the sign" the bird that pooped on Diane Lane's head gave in "Under the Tuscan Sun" ;)
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The information and suggestions in this post are given from a personal perspective and should not be interpreted as professional medical advice. Please consult a professional Counselor or Doctor to help you find your way to better health.
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