When I saw the early morning mist out in the back meadow when I woke up a few days ago I didn't hesitate to run barefoot across the yard to snap this picture before it dissipated. It conveys the beauty of where I live and the calmness and serenity I am always striving to create in my life. Especially now.
Some days it's harder to do that than others but it's been becoming easier as this whole possible brain tumor situation has helped me to speed up making realizations about who I am, who I want to be, why I'm here, my true purpose in life, and what truly matters to me.
I will say I am now pretty much beyond worrying about all of this. I just need time to continue improving my diet, lifestyle, and emotional state so that my body can heal.
On the way to discuss the second MRI results with my neuro-oncologist I listened to Deepak Chopra in my car on the hour long drive. I'd purchased the HEAL (Documentary) Summit (Click to view the most viewed summit talk by Dr. Joe Dispenza for free) and loaded all 18 segments into my iTunes. That was a wise decision. His message was spot on to listen to on my way to find out what the scans had revealed.
His voice is so calm and soothing and his manner of speaking is so elegant that his manner and wisdom helped me to remain centered. As I listened to him speak of equanimity and transcendence (a state of meditation) I realized what he was saying to me, in that moment, was "Girl, calm the heck down. Everything is going to be ok no matter what you're told." LOL
THE GOOD NEWS:
- The spots have not increased in size or multiplied.
- There was no vascular activity detected, which would have meant tumors.
- Instead of the next MRI being scheduled for November it's been moved to February, so six months from now instead of three as long as I don't develop symptoms that they are changing in size or quantity.
- The doctor is not ruling out brain scarring even though the radiologist didn't include them as a possibility in the differential.
- A slightly elevated choline level in the spectroscopy test tips the scale slightly towards tumors.
- I'll be having a spinal tap in the near future (along with two blood tests) to rule out Multiple Sclerosis. The Neuro-oncologist doesn't think I have MS but wants to rule it out as the radiologist listed a "demyelination focus" as "difficult to completely exclude." Meaning there is a possibility.
- The "indication" of what the radiologist thinks they are is now listed as "low grade glioma." In April they were referred to as "lesions." Though they are also referred to in the report as "low grade neoplasms." Words that are similar in meaning but glioma is the most serious of the options.
It's amazing to me how many emotions I've experienced since all of this began in April. I made an appointment with my therapist last week and was telling him how I feel like I have a handle on the health issue itself. I'm in a very good place with accepting and dealing with it. But there are other areas of my life that need more work to truly release some stress and negativity that I have held onto for far too long. It's time. It will empower me and help me to heal whatever is going on and will bring more contentment to my life moving forward.
So what else have I been up to?
My macrobiotic diet and lifestyle plan continue to go well. I am so happy I started them back in late April. My current weight is now hanging around 99 to 100 lbs. This has made some people concerned I've lost too much weight. It's ok. I weighed 91 lbs most of my adult life so most likely I'll end up around there. It does mean a cushion makes sitting a lot more comfortable on a floor or chair with no padding but so far that's been the only real drawback.
The Swiss chard, kale, and carrots in the food pictures above all came from my neighbor Ron's garden. He is so sweet. He brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers the other day and all of the vegetables he had grown over the summer that are on my recommended food list of the things I should eat. He also brought a Hokaido pumpkin, some radish, cucumbers, and green beans as well as two books about recovering from cancer, one of which included macrobiotics and my counselor Denny Waxman's most famous client who he helped to recover from stage IV metastatic prostate cancer.
I shared this picture of the flowers he brought me on Instagram the other day with the comment:
"Just my opinion... When something bad happens in your life never focus on the people you thought would care but don’t. Instead focus on the people who do care and make sure you know in a thousand different ways. No one is obligated to care about me, or you. But there will always be those that do. I am grateful and blessed to be loved by many..."
I also went berry picking for the first time. The plan was to pick blueberries with my friend Anette and her friend Diana. We did until I wandered off and switched to...
Black currants! I was quite excited to learn there was also a currant patch with red, white, and black currants. I've never seen currants before so I picked some to dry. The thing is I don't have a dehydrator so after some experimenting and searching Google for a DIY tutorial I figured out to wash them, poke a hole in each one with a pin, then improvised a solar oven by setting them in my car to dry them. LOL
BTW they may have lots of nutrients in them but they taste pretty awful. Like so bad even ants and flies wanted nothing to do with them. For real. At first I covered them with mesh but then noticed no bugs of any kind were going near them. Even when an ant walked across the dining table while the tray was sitting there it never went near it. And when a fly got in the house it didn't either.
I hosted the August West Michigan Origami folding club meetup. There were only five us but we had a great time. We made renzuru cranes where both cranes were connected by their wingtips, folded from a single sheet of paper, box turtles, and carp/koi. We also hosted our first paper swap which was quite fun bringing along papers we haven't used and trading them for papers we will.
And went back and picked up where I left off in my studio in April when the discovery of the spots in my brain came in. I had to literally relearn the way I had modified the traditional dragonfly fold. It took a few hours but I did it and made a step by step tutorial this time. LOL
I also went out to vote in the Michigan primary election.
I vote to honor the sacrifices of all veterans but especially those of my dad and the men he served with. I am fortunate to be Facebook friends with Lt. William Funchess, who wrote a book titled “A Thousand Days of Torment.” It describes the time he, my dad, and their unit spent in a North Korean POW camp. To this day I don’t understand how any of our soldiers survived.
For them and all veterans who have fought for freedom and democracy I vote in every primary and general election. It’s the least I can do.
If you are interested in reading their story you can order a copy of the book from:
SC Military History Foundation
1 National Guard Road,
Columbia, SC 29201
Lt. Funchess told me they are $15 each--and they pay the postage.
I'm also working on my ArtPrize entry. You can read more about it here on the ArtPrize website and see the first photo I've shared of it. I'll be adding more pictures as it progresses in the coming weeks.
So that's just a little of what has been going on here. I hope things are good in your corner of the world and thank you for coming back to check in on me.
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The information and suggestions in this post are given from a personal perspective and should not be interpreted as professional medical advice. Please consult a professional Counselor or Doctor to help you find your way to better health.
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