Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

A few months ago one of my closest online friends posted her wedding website. I was one of the first to view it and as such seized the opportunity to surprise her by being the first to send her a wedding gift. I wanted to get her a stainless steel steamer at Crate and Barrel, but it was sold out. Instead I chose a glass 4 part serving dish that was listed on her registry.

A few days later she brought the subject up in our private forum. There are only 10 members in our group so we're a pretty tight crowd. She commented that the next day she and her fiance were attending a wedding shower and that despite herself she had become obsessed with the gift registry. Her fiance told her not to look, that doing so would only lead to trouble but she couldn't resist. Here's a slightly edited version of what happened next:

Her: I know it's spoiling the surprise, but I can't stop myself!

And the worst part? They're getting stuff that we just added on for fun, not the stuff we *really* want. I'm checking the pages like, "No, dumba**es, don't get THAT... get the wine glasses!"

I'm horrible.

Me: Aw cwap. I got you something but it wasn't wine glasses.

Hope you feel EXTRA bad for saying that now. You should!

Her: Are you serious?

OMG, I'm seriously busting a gut laughing over here!!

Me: Could not be more serious!

Not going to tell you what I sent. You can tell me how much you really wanted it when it gets there.

Her: OMG, I feel bad but I'm laughing so hard!

And your SIGNATURE!!! You're laying it on THICK!!

Me: I'd changed my sig to: Buy someone a wedding gift and they call you a duma**

Her: I deserve it.

See? Told you I was horrible.

But, in all honestly, everything on there, yes, we want and we'll love!

It really is so nice of you.

OK, no more checking the registries for me. I've learned my lesson.

Me: Would like to point out that you are the dumba**es who asked for the other items. LOL.

I always enjoy learning from other peoples mistakes so..... Thanks for saving me from that one!

*Note to self* Do not blog about lame wedding gifts. You never know who might be reading your griping.

Her: Oh, now I feel really bad.

And gifts are NEVER disappointing!! I love them all, no matter what size or shape. Seriously, you could send me a pair of socks and a box of toothpicks as a present and I'd get excited.

Me: The cost of the gift was well worth the laugh you just gave me and now I fully expect you to exchange it for some wine glasses when it gets there.

I went for something heftier then a wine glass.... They break all the time. I wanted something that would remind you of me forever! Now you will feel guilty every time you eat carrot sticks, celery sticks, radishes, and broccoli or four kinds of crackers.

Her: OMG, the four-part dish!!!

Me: Yeah yeah.... Too late now. I know what you really think of my gift. *sniff sniff*

Her: What's extra funny is my fiance told me I was going to get myself in trouble checking up on the registries. Dammmit!! I hate it when he's right.

Seriously, I never expected any of you guys to send me gifts! I completely underestimated how sweet you are. You're the best.

Me: It's all in good fun. Plus that REALLY proves you weren't expecting gifts from us. Which is nice and shows you aren't a selfish person. Just a picky one. LOL

Her: It's totally true, wasn't expecting it at all.

But I think I've pretty much zapped my chances of getting any MORE presents from anyone in our group....

Me: Yeah if anyone else here sends a gift? I would strongly urge you to choose the wine glasses.

Her: We are having the presents sent to my fiance's work b/c he'll be there all day long to receive them. NO JOKE: He just texted me and said we got a gift today from Crate & Barrel.

I'll save him the back story tonight and just tell him what a wonderful friend you are.

Seriously, I can't believe the gift arrived today. That's just the icing on the cake. The bitter, crow-filled cake that I am now eating.

I have dug a hole, and there's no way out.. I'll just sit down here in my hole and eat veggies out of my new serving dish.

I think the moral of the story is clear. My advice? Seems like a no brainer but if you don't like a gift make sure you don't complain about it to the person who gave it to you. LOL. Unless they have a good sense of humor. Then it can actually turn into a pretty good laugh and seriously, most of us need all the laughs we can get! At least I do. My friend will never live this down. But that's ok because she's willing to laugh at herself right along with the rest of our little group.